


I Know Better

by DeadShips



Series: Bad Decisions Reap Better Rewards [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Green Lantern (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alpha Dick Grayson, Alpha Kyle Rayner, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Betrayal, Identity Issues, Jason Todd is Catlad | Stray, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Omega Jason Todd, Stray AU, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25663903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadShips/pseuds/DeadShips
Summary: This part of him, this sickly part of him that Kyle didn’t even know that he possessed, revels in it. It’s something of an addiction now because no matter how much he hates himself afterwards, he just can’t get enough.Not when Jason is sprawled out on this utterly ridiculous Akatsuki blanket that he insisted Kyle needed, head tilted back in glee so that the column of his neck is perfectly exposed, cheeks rosy and hiding the freckles that Kyle knows are there, practically mapped out all with as much as he’s studied them, plush lips pulled back into the biggest smile that pops the dimple only on his left side as his body shakes with unabridged laughter.-Kyle knows what he's doing goes against his best friend and deceives Jason's trust. He does it anyway.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd (mentioned), Kyle Rayner/Jason Todd
Series: Bad Decisions Reap Better Rewards [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033080
Comments: 16
Kudos: 179





	I Know Better

**Author's Note:**

> So this whole story has been on the back of mind for almost a month now. It's gone through many versions and I finally settled more on a slightly darker take of the original idea that I had. 
> 
> As always, please let me know if I don't have everything properly tagged, and let me know what you think!

Make no mistake, Kyle knows what he’s doing is wrong. He knows that keeping a secret of this caliber is life ruining. He’s completely and thoroughly disgusted with himself. It’s haunting even, possessing every aspect of his life with this haze of self hatred and regret that it’s starting to become all consuming. Some nights it takes everything just to fall asleep; tossing and turning, wanting to, but still coming out more restless than when he laid his head. He’s become reckless where he needn’t be, where he never thought that he would be, but that just seems to be a part of his life now, taking these unnecessary risks. It’s not just that he’s distracted during missions, he’s missing deadlines for the website he draws for, he’s ignoring his friends and teammates because it’s all that he can think about. 

He never meant to lie, oh god, he was never someone who was good with deception to begin with. But now, now he just can’t stop. As to where before his every intention was to be honest and then he had to return to Oa and he just.. He just.. Never stopped. It’s terrifying to think that he can balance effortlessly on these thinly spun webs, that he’s able to come up with something and deflect as easily as breathing. 

That doesn’t stop him.

This part of him, this sickly part of him that Kyle didn’t even know that he possessed, revels in it. It’s something of an addiction now because no matter how much he hates himself afterwards, he just can’t get enough. 

Not when Jason is sprawled out on this utterly ridiculous  _ Akatsuki _ blanket that he insisted Kyle needed, head tilted back in glee so that the column of his neck is perfectly exposed, cheeks rosy and hiding the freckles that Kyle knows are there, practically mapped out all with as much as he’s studied them, plush lips pulled back into the biggest smile that pops the dimple only on his left side as his body shakes with unabridged laughter. Not when he finally settles enough to open his eyes, though not fully, half lidded and he’s looking at Kyle through thick lashes, and the sun is highlighting all of the different shades of green and blue that make up Jason’s eyes. Not when Jason has this way of looking so fucking pretty like a gift from Aphrodite herself and still have hard enough features that it gives him this rugged and mysterious sort of aura. Kyle doesn’t even know how to describe it. Not when Jason smells like the sweetest tangerine with this underlying spice that coats the back of his tongue like ginger.

Jason’s a juxtaposition in itself, being just on the right side of masculine androgyny. Jason’s all compact muscle of a gymnast, with the most powerful thighs that he’s ever seen on someone of similar height and build. He’s all sharp angles, except for that slight bump on his bridge of his nose where it’d been broken and not set properly. His skin is soft and almost creamy if it weren’t for the sprinkles of pink and white flesh of old and new scarring. Without a doubt in his mind, Kyle knew that if Jason’s growth wasn’t stunted from being malnourished as a child, he’d be at least twice his weight now and towering, nothing but wide shoulders and thick muscle. Kyle can’t imagine anything less of being fatally attracted even then. 

If Kyle didn’t know any better, he would assume all that muscle and grace came from his time as a gymnast and dancer. He’d assume that the extra muscle at his top was because Jason liked to push himself and lift heavy. That Jason knows how to throw a hell of right hook (terrifying, utterly terrifying and so fucking hot all in one) because of his time on the streets. 

Kyle however does know better. 

Jason’s a fucking powerhouse not just because of his athletic career in highschool and his first two years of college or because having a pretty face in Crime Alley was dangerous, no. Jason’s a powerhouse because he’s Stray. 

Stray, as in the ruthless protégée of Gotham’s Catwoman. Stray, who favored quite literally tearing apart child sex trafficking rings with those razor sharp claws and burning drug empires right into the ground. Stray, the man responsible for the ugly marring of an already ruined face of Roman Sionis with the five deep lines starting just above his mandible and down to his chest (frankly, Kyle doesn’t want to know what the hell Black Mask did to get that souvenir. He just knows that the gothamite scum deserved it).Stray, perhaps the most formidable omega of Gotham. 

The same Stray that his best friend and teammate, Nightwing has been in love with since they were Catlad and Robin. 

Kyle doesn’t have any excuses. Not when Jason has been all Dick has ever talked about since they’d met as teenagers. Not when he’d heard so much about Catlad that Kyle could draw him as if from memory without ever having met him, that Kyle felt like he was growing up right alongside them. Kyle has teased Dick mercilessly that he’s fallen right into his mentor’s footsteps of falling for morally ambiguous Cats. Kyle knows that Catlad was Dick’s first kiss and not Barbra like everyone thought. Kyle knows everything, save for his name. That was the one thing that Dick always kept for himself.He’s seen the way that they dance around each other, the way that Dick’s face softens even from behind his domino in a way that it never did when he’d been with Barbra and Kori. He knows that they’re complicated at best and star crossed at worst. Afterall, he’d allowed himself to be dragged to what seemed like hundreds of jewelry shops to find the perfect promise ring to replace the Ring-Pop Dick had given Catlad when they were thirteen. 

Kyle has even seen Stray. Now he’d argue it wasn’t a good enough look to really see anything but a silhouette and the barest hint of a profile. It’s feasible when Jason wears the tinted round goggles in costume. Especially when they’d first met as civilians, Jason was wearing the dorkiest pair of glasses that he’d ever seen, stacks of flashcards and notebooks laying beside him in the grass. It was entirely chance that they’d met. Jason was in New York attending an art exhibit with his mother and somewhere along the line he’d ended up at the park for a place to study. Kyle was there to take landscaping inspiration for his latest web comic. 

Catwoman and Stray had also crashed the very same museum the art exhibit was held in the wee hours of the morning. 

Kyle never made the connection. 

All that? Excusable. Who would think that the nerdy Lit major that he’d met with the thickest lower Gotham accent he’s ever heard was also the sultry talking Stray? There was no reason to make the connection. He’d been texting, calling, and video chatting with Jason for months in between their hectic schedules, getting more Jane Austen quotes than he knew what to do with. If those were his clues, he failed spectacularly at putting them together. 

The second time that they’d met in person was inexcusable (and every time after that). The only reason why Kyle was even in Gotham was because of the bats. He’s walking out of a Cantonese BBQ that Dick swears by just as Jason is rounding the corner to enter the restaurant. Running into Jason at Dick’s favorite take-away establishment is hardly an offense. It’s when he’s hugging Jason - a level that he didn’t even know they were on - and he smells like the most peculiar mixture of cinnamon and almonds. Kyle can only feign ignorance until he pulls away and his suspicions are confirmed when Jason is wearing this stupid fucking sweater that he’d know just about anywhere. It’s a little big on him, not enough to engulf him entirely. Afterall, the owner is average height and lean for a fit alpha. 

When Jason hugs him again in parting, Kyle swears the stitching of  _ Haly’s Circus _ is burned into his chest. 

It’s outright damning later when he’s invited to Jason’s apartment and there on the shelf next to a collector’s edition of  _ Mobey Dick _ and a miniature ceramic elephant is an encased Watermelon Ring-Pop. 

He’s long since crossed the line between right and wrong. Any chance of coming clean is wholly ruined when he’s spent too much time trying basking in the glow of amused and content omega in the afternoon sunlight. 

“Still with me Rayner?” Jason asks in that tone of his, that one that he can easily imagine rolling off of Stray’s tongue. Jason has to know what it does to him. Jason has to know that his presence alone commands the attention of every alpha, beta, and even omega for a twenty foot radius. 

It’s all fucking ruined, because instead of saying something that’s going to make Jason burst into another fit of laughter, he’s shifting from where he’s been laying on his side to be just a little bit closer. He’s reaching out to take the proverbial forbidden fruit when his hand is at the back of Jason’s neck, slipping in between strands of thick raven hair that’s grown just a little too long over the past year and guiding Jason in when he leans forward. 

It’s the worst thing to do. Not just because in that moment he can feel his friendship with Dick Grayson shatter. Not just because they’re in the middle of the park and anyone can see what they’re doing. Because one kiss simply isn’t enough. He really should have just pulled away, excuse himself and never talk to Jason again. Forget it all and bury it so deep in his chest that it goes away with him to his grave. Jason’s lips are just as plush as he knew they would be albeit a little chapped. That’s the only thing that he’s right about. 

Kissing Jason is like being swallowed whole into an inferno. He kisses with this overwhelming passion that Kyle’s never experienced. It’s almost too much, it is too much, until Jason is licking into his mouth and Kyle is lost all over again. Somewhere in limbo between knowing he’s an absolute fuck up for this and cursing himself for not trampling all over his bonds with Grayson to begin with. Jason tastes like the putrid black licorice that he was eating obnoxiously a few minutes ago, but instead of being repulsed Kyle can’t stop chasing the flavor, determined to kiss it right out of Jason’s mouth. Any notion of guilt is flying off into Gotham Harbor when Jason does this thing with his tongue, and then sucks on Kyle’s, making the most erotic sound like he’s the one being treated and Kyle’s brain short circuits. 

Jason pulls away, presumably because Kyle has stopped responding other than the shudder that runs down his spine, or the fact that they’re in the middle of the park and Kyle is one bad decision away from throwing the omega over his shoulder like a neanderthal. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this here.”  _ Maybe they shouldn’t be doing this at all _ , his brain helpfully supplies. 

And because Kyle is a screw up who doesn’t know what he’s doing (other than ruining years of friendship and trust), he leans in for one more kiss. Just one more, he promises himself that even if he knows that’s a lie. He’ll just have to add it to his list of sins. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be real, this is really only the first half of what I wanted to write. This is the background essentially, something for people looking more for my subtleties and angst than they are looking for absolute filth. 
> 
> And with that said, get ready for the filth. 
> 
> [Come say hi](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/captaindeadships)


End file.
